Experience Enlightenment
I had a goal – I have given up
I had a timeline to meet – I have given up
I an growing old – I don’t know
Now Nature has a goal for me – but I don’t know what it is
Nature decides the timeline
Nature decides how fast I should run
Whether I should run or walk or do nothing
There is fear as I give up control
But I still wait
I know when my rate of change is my own and not borrowed, everything will fall into place
Why the trouble?
Why the fear? Others will do what I want to do.
Others will achieve what I want to achieve.
But I cannot be replaced. My work can be replaced.
The question is who am I?
What is the importance of me?
How do I define myself? Do I have a definition?
What is the uniqueness that is impossible to replace or defeat?
My spontaneity is unique. The way I respond to a “call” is unique.
How often I respond to a call is unique – the rate.
It cannot be taught.
Let Nature make me because I am unique.
Nature makes me who I am.
Nature makes me unique.
Let nature call, and I will respond.
Nature calls as per my rate of change – my rate of change is unique to me.
If I allow nature to change me, it will make me change as per my unique rate.
My rate of change is unique.
How do I deduct my work from me?
Let my work be very little?
Let there be no work but only response.
Response at a rate that is unique to me.
If there is no call, I will do nothing in particular.
When I don’t know, I should accept the fact that I don’t know and not try to know. I should let the future unfold on its own rather try to unfold it myself.
I have realized that I am beyond all titles and little praises that people seek. I am also above being the richest man in the world because I know that even after being the richest man, I would still keep searching.. be dissatisfied..
Nothing satisfies me. I am attracted to nothing.. I chase nothing – I have outgrown everything, I have reached the pinnacle.
Now there is nothing to plan or do.
At enlightenment, I am standing at he edge of a cliff. I reached here walking. Earlier, at every point, there was something to step on to, but now there ia nothing.
Now everything is behind me. The past is behind me. Ahead is the final fall into nothingness. One can fall anytime and hence the fear. There is a great fear of falling as there is nothing ahead, nothing to put a step on.
As everything is going into the past, there is a feeling that I am going into the future, but the future is a fall for me – hence great fear.
The falling off from the cliff is called Mahaparinirvana.
Can I call it mine?Why can I not call it mine?What is stopping me? What is the definition of calling it mine? What is the criteria?
Only when others label it as mine?
Or when there are possibilities.
Now, when there are no possibilities, the other is needed.
Anything that is mine – must be approved by others?
No, it will give me satisfaction – as then no one will be taking it away.
I want my things to be protected by others.
Does it need to be labelled by others?
Is it others who will decide what belongs to me or not?
Can I not say what is mine?
What happened before the event? There were possibilities. Possibilities of being mine. They were not mine – There were only possibilities.
I pursued the possibilities.
Then what happened?
The possibilities were not there – Now it is difficult to say, whether what I pursued was achieved or they just vanished.
Should I just be a facilitator and own nothing? I don’t know. What should I facilitate? I cannot decide that.
After enlightenment, I belong to the moment, nothing belongs to me.
After enlightenment the “my” does not exist.
Once you have reached or about to reach the third position (as described in the previous post), you will start to do away with your logic, you will not be able to logically conclude whether you are in the right path, the path that will, for sure, make the dream come true.
You pick up things to do, not finding any driving force, you leave them incomplete. It is as if there is some deterrent some force that is trying to stop you. You pick up one thing after another, but is not able to know whether this will take things to a conclusion, due to lack of possibilities – at this stage, whether just before enlightenment or after enlightenment, one sees no possibilities and hence there is no driving force. So, you keep picking and quitting.
Even if you want to bring things to an end, to a conclusion, you are just not able to take it forward – there is a force greater than you that is trying to stop you.
You leave everything incomplete
Onami 