She is my Charioteer

Earlier I was in the driver’s seat. Things were in my control. Sometimes I drove fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes I push the gas pedal hard and race with others. Sometimes I would simply press the gas pedal to enjoy myself. I would take any road I like – the choice was mine. I would reverse my car anytime I want. 

But still, I have had to come back on the road chosen by Her – forcibly. 

After enlightenment, She has taken the driver’s seat. I am sitting beside her. I no longer have control of the vehicle. She is driving it and I am sitting beside her, still able to see outside through the windscreen. 

The lack of control makes me afraid. That I am not on the steering makes me afraid. But I am not seeing the fact that She is the one driving and she knows where to do.

This is analogous to Krishna, Arjuna’s charioteer in the Mahabharata war. While Arjuna was a good warrior, where to go and who to fight, the sequence, the time, was controlled by Krishna.

I am afraid that the car might hit something ahead. I might get into trouble. Sometimes I want to press the gas pedal, but I am no longer in control. It seems so slow that it seems everyone else will win. I get afraid.

I can no longer change my path and take a shorter path. I am just a spectator – watching the vehicle move – at a speed and direction chosen by Her. 

When I see things coming, I get scared – as I am no longer in control – the vehicle might get hit. This is because I do not trust her.

I cannot hurry myself to my destination – she must take me now.

I am no longer taking myself to my destination, but She is. If he is taking me to my destination, then It must be something great, something extraordinary, something spectacular, something tremendous. 

I have no idea how far or how near my destination is – it could be just yet. 

Now no matter what I do, or not do – whether I cry or laugh, work hard or do nothing – is not going to change my destination. Earlier, my actions decided my destiny, now they do not. Now She decides my destiny. She will take me to where she wants to take me – it is her wish.

I can now neither go fast nor slow as per my wish. I no longer have my wish – it is only her wish. I have to abide be her wish.

I am afraid because I do not trust Her. She is herself – Goddess Kali. 

I must learn to trust her. I must trust Her and Relax. 

God Blindfolds Us

The problem is that we cannot see the road ahead – we have no option but to have faith, trust. We do not know what will happen next or how things will happen. When we are not able to see a road, the mind brings all the negative.

There comes a time, when we do not see anything ahead. A problem is nothing but our inability to see ahead. we call it a problem.

When we are not able to see anything ahead, we should not be scared or tensed but be happy as we should know that God has taken over. She will guide you accordingly. One should worry when one is able to see, it is not God’s path. It is our path. When God is guiding our way, She blindfolds us. We become blind and get scared. The fear is because we have been blindfolded by God. When we cannot see outside, the mind, the internal takes over, it scares us. It generates great fear. The fear is the proof that we have been blindfolded by God. We must know that she is with us and should not fear.

For me God is no other than Goddess Kali.

God path always leads to greatness, it is huge, full of glory and beyond imagination. No human path can lead us there.

Whenever we are not able to see ahead, we should know that God has taken over and we should relax as it is never the wrong path.

Void is the negation of the negative

First there is positive. The positive is negated and there is negative. The negative is held – the negative is not negated. 

But once in thousands years, the negative is negated and we find the Void. 

The void is the negation of the negative. It is emptiness. 

At enlightenment, the negative is permanently negated – one permanently remains in a state of void. 

For the void, the negative must be there (to be negated) and the negation of which would form the void – so the negative exists. 

If the void is predominant, the negative thoughts must be there – to be negated. 

The negative permanently exists after enlightenment, but only to be continuously negated. 

No quicker path than doing nothing

The path does not reveal itself to me hence there is a tendency to act or find a path. 

I do not see the path – because I am on it. It is not separate from me.

I realized that I am already on the path – there is no need to search for another. 

Every action of mine is an attempt to go on another path or speed up this path, which is nothing but another path. 

My actions are thwarted. 

An enlightened man cannot change his path. I cannot change my path. 

An ordinary man changes but comes back, thus his path lengthened. 

An enlightened man is in the shortest path, hence his actions do not bear result – to not make him deviate from the shortest path. An action, whether it bear results or not, only lengthens the path. The path is shortest when no action is attempted.

Being enlightened, I am on my shortest path too. My actions do not bear results either. 

His path is shortest and quickest when he does nothing. His actions bear results only if it does not increase the length of his path. 

My path is shortest and quickest when I do nothing at all.

For me, there is no quicker path than doing nothing at all. 

But, the path does not reveal itself to me. 

The path does not reveal itself to me

My life has a path, but I am not aware of it. 

The path does not reveal itself to me. It is the nature of the path. 

My mind can no longer decide or come up with a great path – it creates but the awareness rejects it. So it goes for the worst. The awareness rejects the worst path as well, leaving a void.

The mind and the path have been separated.

What I feel is emptiness. 

I do not know where I am going. 

The path does not reveal itself to me. 

Neti Neti

Again, there is a path, but I am unaware of it.

After enlightenment, 

In any situation, the mind first carves out a positive path – it is rejected. It is so quick as if it does not exist.

Then it carved out a negative path – it is rejected as well. 

Both the negative and positive get rejected leaving us with a void, which is the “awareness”. The void is empty – nothing can be emptier than awareness. 

I have already achieved neti-neti. Neti-neti is spontaneous – the rejection happens effortlessly. The emptiness of the void is experienced without any effort. 

The awareness rejects both positive and negative as it is neither but beyond both.

The emptiness is not the negative, but REJECTION OF THE NEGATIVE as well along with the positive. 

Summarily, there is neither the positive path, nor the negative – hence I do not know. 

There is a path, but I am unaware of it. 

There is a path, but I am unaware of it

There is a path, but I am unaware of it. 

I cannot be made aware of it. It is the nature of things.

Hence, for me, everything is a “No”, everything is negative. 

Always saying “this is not it”.

The mind shows the consequences of this No

It causes fear. 

…

…

But there is a path, I am unaware of it. 

When She is, I am Not.

Sometimes She takes you away from what you are doing so that she can act on it. When you are on it, she cannot act on it. So she takes you away. She feels her intervention is necessary.

She takes you to a state of non-doing, so that she can act on things.

She physically engages an ordinary person elsewhere away from what he is doing so that She can play her role. 

She makes an enlightened person empty, alert, makes him more meditative, a little afraid, takes him to a state of non-doing, thus deactivating him so that she can act on it. 

She is the ultimate force – She is the direction – She is all.

There is no breaking point

The divine force is acting on me, but how do I know what it is up to?

When the divine force acts, things that are there seem to fall apart. It is not that one day it will act hard and things will fall apart in reality.

It has already acted and it has thrown things apart – There is nothing more to happen. Whatever had to be thrown away has been thrown away. 

There is no breaking point. It has already broken. 

So, the thought that things will break or fall apart when the “result” comes, is false. It has broken and the emptiness is the proof. There is nothing more to break. 

The force is acting but it does not find any resistance, so it feels empty – as if there is nothing to stop this force – like in zero gravity. 

Whose Path?

It is the path laid by God that will make the difference and not the path we choose for ourselves.