Category: incomplete

The awareness is personified but not a person

There are two entities. One, the awareness and two, the physical body. I am the awareness. What I address as “I” is the awareness.

After my enlightenment, I was afraid. If I am only the “awareness” of my own emptiness – then the question comes “Who is afraid?”. I could not answer this question for a long time until today. 

Today I realized that this awareness is personified and it is a revolution. It has an “I”. But this awareness is not the physical body. 

The awareness is personified but not a person.

I, the awareness, is/was afraid of its own emptiness – of the emptiness and not of another “mass” as the awareness is massless.

I am the “awareness”. I have become aware of my own emptiness. But I am not the physical body. I know that I am empty, devoid of mass, and hence I am afraid.

The “I”  (the awareness) is expressing itself through the physical body. My physical body and actions are an expression of the “I”.

The physical body is a tool or the “I” (awareness). The awareness interacts with the world with the help of the physical body. The awareness gets is plan accomplished with the help of the physical body.

I am aware of the “I”, I know I am the “I”, but others see me as the physical body. They do not know the “I”.

So, what I think of myself as, and what others think of me are very different.

Nothing of my own

I had a goal – I have given up

I had a timeline to meet – I have given up

I an growing old – I don’t know

Now Nature has a goal for me – but I don’t know what it is

Nature decides the timeline

Nature decides how fast I should run

Whether I should run or walk or do nothing

There is fear as I give up control

But I still wait

I know when my rate of change is my own and not borrowed, everything will fall into place

What is my uniqueness

Why the trouble?

Why the fear? Others will do what I want to do. 

Others will achieve what I want to achieve. 

But I cannot be replaced. My work can be replaced. 

The question is who am I?

What is the importance of me?

How do I define myself? Do I have a definition?

What is the uniqueness that is impossible to replace or defeat? 

My spontaneity is unique. The way I respond to a “call” is unique.

How often I respond to a call is unique – the rate. 

It cannot be taught.

Let Nature make me because I am unique. 

Nature makes me who I am. 

Nature makes me unique.

Let nature call, and I will respond. 

Nature calls as per my rate of change – my rate of change is unique to me. 

If I allow nature to change me, it will make me change as per my unique rate. 

My rate of change is unique.

How do I deduct my work from me?

Let my work be very little?

Let there be no work but only response.

Response at a rate that is unique to me.

If there is no call, I will do nothing in particular. 

True Nature | Time | Detours

One’s true nature is the rate at which he, she or it changes with time. 

Everything in this universe has its true nature – rate of change as per their true nature. Everything in this universe has a different rate of change – A tree takes decades to grow, a bee flaps its wings 200 times a second, a horse runs fast, mountains change in millions of years – according to their true nature. Humans are also different – they have their own true nature. If one is not changing as per its true nature, it will cease to exist and be born again to match its true nature. In an extreme case, he or she either dies, or adheres to his true nature – it is a shift – one gets enlightened.

Whatever detours I have been forced to take were for me to match my rate of change. My rate of change makes me unique as the rate of change is different for everyone.

Almost 99.99% of people change together – because they follow the chronological clock – the crowd, they move how the crowd moves. Only 0.01% change as per their nature and thus they become visible – their uniqueness comes to the surface – they look different. Whole world has been made to follow a clock and they change, not as per their true nature, but as per the chronological clock.

Now I am changing as per my true nature. There is nothing to do. It will automatically change. Whenever I go fast, I am brought back. So, I should not try to go fast. 

Whatever happens, all detours, if they all happen, will happen to slow me down to make me match my true nature. 

I don’t know

I should not even try to find my calling

Everything looks so fallible

Nothing is concrete

Things look impossible.

I am losing interest

Always in searching mode

I guess to search and never find is the norm – while the journey is on

There is no path to accomplishment

As, I don’t know what is to be accomplished

I don’t know from where money will come

Nothing draws my interest any more

Nothing can be forced on me

I cannot force anything on anyone

The past and present has become one

I am beyond all

I have realized that I am beyond all titles and little praises that people seek. I am also above being the richest man in the world because I know that even after being the richest man, I would still keep searching.. be dissatisfied..

Nothing satisfies me. I am attracted to nothing.. I chase nothing – I have outgrown everything, I have reached the pinnacle.

Now there is nothing to plan or do.

Standing at the edge of the cliff

At enlightenment, I am standing at he edge of a cliff. I reached here walking. Earlier, at every point, there was something to step on to, but now there ia nothing.

Now everything is behind me. The past is behind me. Ahead is the final fall into nothingness. One can fall anytime and hence the fear. There is a great fear of falling as there is nothing ahead, nothing to put a step on.

As everything is going into the past, there is a feeling that I am going into the future, but the future is a fall for me – hence great fear.

The falling off from the cliff is called Mahaparinirvana.

After Enlightenment, Nothing is Mine

Can I call it mine?Why can I not call it mine?What is stopping me? What is the definition of calling it mine? What is the criteria?

Only when others label it as mine?

Or when there are possibilities. 

Now, when there are no possibilities, the other is needed.

Anything that is mine – must be approved by others?

No, it will give me satisfaction – as then no one will be taking it away. 

I want my things to be protected by others. 

Does it need to be labelled by others?

Is it others who will decide what belongs to me or not?

Can I not say what is mine?

What happened before the event? There were possibilities. Possibilities of being mine. They were not mine – There were only possibilities.

I pursued the possibilities. 

Then what happened?

The possibilities were not there – Now it is difficult to say, whether what I pursued was achieved or they just vanished.

Should I just be a facilitator and own nothing? I don’t know. What should I facilitate? I cannot decide that.

After enlightenment, I belong to the moment, nothing belongs to me.

After enlightenment the “my” does not exist.

All Incomplete things!

Once you have reached or about to reach the third position (as described in the previous post), you will start to do away with your logic, you will not be able to logically conclude whether you are in the right path, the path that will, for sure, make the dream come true.

You pick up things to do, not finding any driving force, you leave them incomplete. It is as if there is some deterrent some force that is trying to stop you. You pick up one thing after another, but is not able to know whether this will take things to a conclusion, due to lack of possibilities – at this stage, whether just before enlightenment or after enlightenment, one sees no possibilities and hence there is no driving force. So, you keep picking and quitting.

Even if you want to bring things to an end, to a conclusion, you are just not able to take it forward – there is a force greater than you that is trying to stop you.

You leave everything incomplete